The Bright One
by obscurewriter05
Summary: Cole longs for her friendship, but isn't sure how to handle everything he feels. And when she's been hurt how far will he go to help her? Disclaimer: All characters and such belong to their rightful owners.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

She shone, bright like a beacon on a dark stormy sea. It hurt to look at her, she was that bright. He looked anyway. Watching in fascination as she charmed everyone she came into contact with. Even he was charmed by her, and he had yet to meet her. He watched in silence as she debated politics with Vivienne, pulled pranks with Sera, discussed magic with Solas, flirted with Blackwall, and always, endlessly placated her advisors.

It amazed him how different she was around each of her companions, playing on their interests and strengths. She knew how to appeal to all of them in a way to get each of them to do as she wanted but never making it seem like manipulation – just friendship.

He ached to know what that was like. Not friendship, he knew what that was like. _Her _friendship. He shifted, noticing the cloud of loneliness that surrounded her. All the people surrounding her and she was still lonely. He understood that, wanted to fix it. Then she confronted the Templars and he saw his chance. Guiding her through the world of Spirits, he felt her fear and anger burn through her and he knew he had to help her, to stay with her until the end.


	2. Of Love and Loss

**Chapter 1**

"I want to stay," He told her.

They were home. At the place she called home now and he had finally revealed himself to her. She gave him a sad, gentle smile.

"Of course you can stay," She answered.

He nodded once before disappearing. He felt everyone's disapproval at her decision and it made him uncomfortable. Later he asked why she had agreed when it seemed that most of her friends didn't want him to be there.

"Because, Cole, it was the right choice. You should be allowed to stay. You deserve a chance just like everyone else."

He wasn't sure how to reply to that. He understood she was a mage and mages were usually more tolerant than most, but usually even mages didn't want him to stay around. Even more amazing, to him, was that he could feel it. She really did want him to stay, she actually _liked _him.

"Broken. Afraid. So cold. Wait - who is this boy?" He said it without thinking, recalling the first time she saw him.

Emily smiled at him, "And then what?"

He concentrated, trying to understand the swirl of emotions that she carried around her. Trying to find the ones about him.

"Sweet. Gentle. Loving. He doesn't mean harm, just a child. A child like he was, even the coloring is the same. What if he is... what if he sent him. Creators, but they look alike," He blinked, looking at her in confusion. "Brother."

She nodded, taking his hand in her own, "Brother, yes."

"I don't understand."

She smiled softly, remembering her own little brother.

"Soft hands, gentle heart. 'Emily', his voice is so weak. Need to fix it, need to heal, but he's gone," Cole looked at her sadly, shaking his head.

"I know you're not him, but -"

"I remind you of him. I understand now."

She smiled, that soft sad smile Cole loved and hated at the same time, "I knew you would."

Cole silently resolved to be just like a little brother to this quiet, lonely elven mage who lost her own little brother at such a tender age. He knew why she was lonely now. She knew everyone, but no one, not even her brother, really knew her. Cole was determined to learn.


	3. Of Anger

He'd left her behind. Maker, he hated himself for it, but he had. Fury tore through him and he knew that if he didn't find her soon he might do something crazy. He stared out into the darkness, silently begging her to be alive. He thought back to that night, his face clouded. He was too absorbed in his own thoughts to see the people around him and notice the wide berth they were giving him as he strode through the camp toward Solas.

The Breach had been closed and they were celebrating. Everyone but Emily. Cole had watched her as she watched the crowd dancing below. He wanted to go to her, to dance with her and bring out her cheerful smile that was rarer than sunshine in rain, but he knew she was waiting for a report from Cassandra. Everything was going well, he followed at a distance, waiting for Cassandra to finish her report of the Breach before talking to Emily himself, but before he could speak the alarms went off and they were rushing toward the gates to find out what was wrong.

Cole kept quiet while Emily and her advisors discussed what to do. He wanted desperately to help, but was unsure as to how until Emily shouted his name.

"Cole. Cassandra. Bull – with me. The rest of you – stay with the villagers. Help them there and keep the mages from breaching the Chantry. Cullen – please, get the civilians to the Chantry. We'll do what we can out here."

Cole quickly glanced at the rest to see their reactions as Emily set out with Cassandra and Bull. Most of them seemed relieved but anxious. Solas' face betrayed his emotions though and Cole see the fear and anger written there. He wanted to be going with the Herald, but would stay put – he had not been chosen. Cole hurried over to him, wanting to put his mind at ease.

"I will take care of her." He whispered to Solas. "I promise."

"Just bring her back to me, Cole," Solas answered, the strain showing on his face.

Cole nodded, "I will."

They fought with everything they had, not letting a single mage pass as they loaded the trebuchets. Cole felt victory as the mountain seemed to tumble around and through the army that was heading toward them. That feeling quickly died away as an unearthly shriek rent the air and thrum of wings rushed through it. The party looked up as one to see a Dragon, possibly an Archdemon, heading toward them.

"The gates, quickly," She called out.

They rushed as fast as they could, stopping only to help the smith – Cole still hadn't caught his name – break into his shop. Cullen stood at the entrance, keeping it open for them, but waving frantically for them to hurry. Cole picked up speed, hoping his companions were doing the same.

"Help the villagers," Emily called as they made it through the gates, seeing that not everyone had made it to the Chantry before the walls had been breached.

Cole unleashed his daggers once again and did what he could, while trying to keep an eye on the Herald. He could feel that the magic was beginning to drain from her and he wondered how much longer she could go before she dropped. He fervently hoped it would be long enough.

When they made it into the Chantry he thought they were safe and began to check on those who would be in need of his help. He stopped on his way to help to inform Solas they were all back and in one piece. He hurried to show Solas where he left her only to watch with him as the familiar figure of a brunette with a long staff hurried out of the Chantry.

"Cole, Solas," Cullen called for them. "Help me get these people out of here."

"What of the Herald?" Solas asked before Cole could.

Cullen's face betrayed any soothing lie he could give them and Cole rushed for the door only to be stopped by a man he had never seen before.

"While I'm sure the lady would appreciate your help in hindsight – killing both of you does no good," He spoke quietly to Cole.

Cole shook his head, "I have to help her."

"Then help her get these people to safety."

Cole had nodded, with every intention of going back for her as soon as they were clear, but there wasn't enough time. Before he could turn back all of Haven was buried under snow and rubble. All of Haven – including Emily Lavellan.


	4. Of Hope

Cole found Solas sitting alone at the edge of the camp, looking, Cole presumed, for Emily.

"You left her behind," He raged at the Elven mage. "You left her behind and now she's gone."

Solas looked at him in sorrow, "I know. I just hope she's alive."

"How can she be? She's buried under all of that and it's because we didn't help her." Cole's face crumpled.

"Cole you could find her."

Cole frowned. "I don't –"

"Look for her. Look for her like you would for someone who was hurt."

Cole struggled, recalling what he could of her. The smell of sunshine and trees that was unique to her. Her quirky smile when she laughed, those emerald eyes lighting up in happiness. The vallasin that decorated her left side in swirls, dedicating her to Sylaise. Then he dug deeper, to the parts of her that, so far, only he had been allowed to see. Strong, but vulnerable. The sorrow she carried at the loss of her only sibling made her care too much about the people she trusted. The guard that she kept around herself to try to prevent the hurt that she would feel when betrayed, hurt, or disappointed. The loneliness she wore like a heavy blanket. The hope that seemed naïve in anyone but her, because she was strong enough and smart enough to make the hope a reality. He felt something weak brush against his mind, demanding help in the way that only someone who desperately needed it could. He struggled for a moment, trying to ignore it until he realized it was her.

He breathed a sigh of relief and felt the tension leave him. She was alive. She was hurt, cold, and hungry but alive. Solas must have seen the relief across his face, because he stood quickly and waved Cullen and Cassandra over. Cole looked at Cullen in excitement, happy now that he knew she was alive.

"There," He pointed out into the darkness. "She's there."

Cullen looked at him quizzically, "Are you sure?"

Cole looked back impatiently, "Follow me."

He lead them, pausing occasionally to listen and make sure he was going in the right direction and allow Cullen to mark the trail so they could find their way back to the site. Cole reached her first, just as she was sinking to her knees and lifted her up, carrying her to the others. Cullen offered to take her when he saw Cole struggling with her weight, though she was light to anyone else. He held her even more protectively to his chest, only relinquishing when Solas held out his arms.

Cole let go gently, watching warily as Solas cradled the small mage to him. Part of him knew that Solas had more right than anyone to hold Emily – though he had yet to tell her his feeling, Cole could sense them and knew how relieved and happy he was to see Emily whole and alive. Another part of him demanded to hold her, to make sure she was really okay. Cole pushed that part down, knowing that Solas needed it more right now.

Still he stayed by his side, watching for any sign that Solas might need help. When they laid her down Cole stayed and watched the healers work on her, and even after they left, saying she was fine now but needed her rest. He watched her sleep, feeling a protective force like he hadn't felt since Rhys had left him. He sat in silence, ignoring the outside word until a gentle voice broke his reverie.

"You should eat."

Cole looked up to see Mother Giselle staring softly at him.

"I can't leave her," He answered.

She smiled at him, "And you will be of no use to anyone if you don't eat."

Cole shook his head, "I don't need food."

"I know."

He looked up in surprise and she laughed.

"I see more than you know child. I know what you are, but that is alright. The Herald trusts you, and watching you now I see you mean no harm. You seem to care very deeply for her."

"Quiet. Gentle. Him, but not. More and less but he tries. I will not let them take him."

The Mother looked at Cole in confusion.

"It's how she feels when she looks at me. I feel the same about her. Without her the world is darker. She's so bright."

"Do you love her?"

Cole pondered this for a moment, "Not like Solas. Not in that way. More like how you love her. Not the same, but closer."

She nodded, understanding the words the Spirit was trying to say but not knowing how to express them.

"Go, eat. I will tell you when she wakes."

He thought for a moment, "I will tell Solas she is alright. He should know, it will help."


	5. Of Guilt

**((3 Months later))**

They had settled into Skyhold quickly. After weeks of following Emily – The Inquisitor - and Solas through the mountain they had finally found the fortress a month ago. Already most of the debris had been cleared away. Josephine had offered to find him a room, but he had refused. There was no need for him to sleep so he was comfortable spending most of his time in the rafters of the tavern or with Solas in his room. At night when the fortress was dark and everyone was asleep except the guards and a few other exceptions he would climb the walls and sit on Emily's balcony, watching as she slept.

When she had discovered him there, he had been afraid that she would be angry at him, but she had welcomed him and now if she woke from a bad dream he would comfort her and they would sit up late, talking. Well, she would talk, he would listen. He enjoyed listening to the deep melody of her voice – even when it was cracking and her words slurred from exhaustion. Cole sat now, on the balcony, watching her deep, even breaths. She had brought in a chair for him to sit in, but he preferred to stay outside, feeling uncomfortable with the spacious, but mostly empty, room.

His eyes narrowed as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs to her room. He dashed quickly and quietly down the stairs, trying to intercept the intruder before they woke her. He almost ran over Solas in haste.

"Is she sleeping?" Solas whispered, seeing the fierce protective look in Cole's eyes.

He nodded, "Sleeps now, yes. She's always so tired."

Solas nodded his agreement, "She shoulders too much and doesn't share the burden with anyone."

"She would with you. If you would open up to her more," Cole said it more sharply than he meant to.

Solas nodded sadly, "I know, but she wouldn't thank me in the end if I let her get close."

Cole looked at him in bewilderment. He knew how deeply Solas cared for the Inquisitor and knew that she cared just as deeply for the elf. He didn't understand why Solas kept denying those feelings, trying to keep her from knocking down the walls that not even Cole could penetrate. Cole looked up as he felt, more than heard, the change in her breathing, and he looked at Solas with wide eyes.

"Another nightmare. Darkness everywhere. His laugh holding her tight. Move. Move! Stupid legs why do you hold still."

"Is she dreaming that?"

Cole nodded, "You should go to her."

Solas shook his head, smiling sadly. "No. I can't. Not yet Cole. Please, take care of her for me."

Cole watched as Solas rushed down the stairs, leaving him to help Emily once again. He was frustrated with Solas. There was only so much he could do and was a poor substitute for who Emily really wanted to reach for when she woke. He sighed as he plodded up the stairs, timing his arrival to her side with her eyes opening in fear and despair. As she wrapped her arms around him, crying into his chest when she realized that it was just another nightmare, Cole stroked her hair, and pondered what he was going to do when Solas finally did open up to her. A poor substitute he might be, but that was okay with him, because he wouldn't trade these moments for the world. These moments when Emily opened herself up and revealed a little more of the woman behind the Inquisitor.

Tonight she told him about her family. Something she had kept to herself for a long time. She told him about her mother with her wild blonde hair and emerald eyes. Her mother who was a huntress and a loving woman. She told him about the time she'd fallen and tore all the skin from her knees, before she knew how to heal it herself, she had limped to her mother tears falling softly as a six year old Emily showed her mother the scrape on her knee. Her mother had bandaged it tight and kiss it softly and Emily had looked up in wonder, believing it to really be all better when her mother pronounced it so.

She told him about her father. The stern brunette with ice blue eyes. He was quiet but loving in his own way. He was so proud when he had found out that she was a mage like his mother had been. She inhaled deeply and Cole tensed, sensing the part of the story she was dreading.

"It's okay," Cole whispered before she could say another word. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

She shook her head, "You need to understand and I need to talk to someone about it."

She sat up, feeling more stable now and Cole sat up too, wrapping his legs around each other as she told him about her brother.

"He was born with this white blonde hair that was blinding and I fell in love before he even opened those large blue eyes of his. I was still young, but old enough to know that two children in a family was rare and difficult. I doted on him from the moment he came into the world and my parents gave me the honor of naming him Tammen. Tammen was amazing and took more after mom. He was always getting into mischief but he always meant good by it. He was an amazing hunter, but refused to hunt more than necessary because he didn't want to harm the animals. And then…."

Her voice trailed off as she took a shaky breath and Cole squeezed her hand gently, understanding that she need this no matter how hard it was.

"I was away when it happened. He fell in the lake and before they could get him out he was already sick. I came home as soon as possible. His face was haggard and you could tell he hadn't been eating properly. All he wanted, though, was to sit with me. He allowed us to feed him only when I was by his side, so I stayed by his side as much as possible. When we realized that it would require a healer to help him it was almost too late anyways. I pushed as much of my own healing magic into him as I could, but I passed out before I could finish. He had looked at me with sad eyes when I awoke and I rushed to help him, but he whispered my name once and he was gone. It was my fault. I should have been there. I should have told him not to go so near the lake. I should have do something."

"I wasn't your fault. You couldn't have saved him. Sometimes bad things happen and it's no one's fault, they just happen." Cole interrupted, determined to make her see that she was in no way responsible for what happened to Tammen.

"It was two years to the day the day I met you."

She finished as tears slid down her cheeks and Cole held her hand tightly, as she pulled out a portrait of a young man. He studied it intently and was surprised at the similarity. If it wasn't for the pointed ears, you could have sworn the portrait was of him. The only thing Cole didn't understand was why Emily hadn't run screaming when she had first laid eyes on him. Most would have. He was pretty sure that in his current state, if the roles had been reversed, he would have.


	6. While Skyhold Sleeps

Cole held her until she fell asleep again, then silently slipped out the door that connected to the main hall. The only ones awake this late were usually Solas and Varric and he knew they wouldn't question him or speculate as to what he was doing in the Inquisitor's room so late. Varric raised an eyebrow as Cole approached Solas' room – going in without knocking.

Solas stood at one end of the rotunda, contemplating his painting. Cole waited patiently, enjoying watching Solas paint. Solas turned, his lack of surprise at seeing the spirit evident in his face and giving away that Solas had been expecting him for some time.

"Solas, what is love?" He asked of the mage as he sat himself in Solas' chair.

Visibly, Solas seemed as calm as ever, but Cole could see the undercurrent of emotion running through him and knew he had asked a very difficult question and one that troubled the mage deeply.

"Not that – I just wanted to know. Emily loves everyone, but's it different. How can she love you and me and Cassandra and Sera and everyone else but it's always different? Isn't love just love?"

Solas chuckled softly, "Love comes in many shapes and ways. You can love someone but not be in love with them. Thing about how you feel about the Inquisitor. Do you love her?"

Cole didn't have to think to know the answer to that question, "Yes."

Solas nodded and Cole could sense his inner struggle, "And is it the same as how others love her?"

Cole pondered it for a moment, considering the many ways the Inquisitor was loved, and slowly shook his head.

"Some of the people love her but don't know why. Not really. She's an idea to them. A bigger than life person like the one they call Andraste. She's not real to them, she's hope and light but not a person, not really. Those that know her even love her in different ways. You love her, but it's not the same as I love her. You want –"Cole furrowed his brow, trying to make sense of the emotions. "You want to be with her forever. I do too, but not like that. You complete her and want her, but she's too bright for me. I just want to be in the brightness."

Solas nodded, "Do you understand now?"

"I think so. Love is love, but love is also many other things. Like Varric when he's writing. He becomes who he writes about. Sometimes his hurts aren't real because the hurts belong to his characters. It confuses me."

Solas chuckled softly, "I suppose that's about as an accurate description as anything."

Cole nodded, feeling better as he left Solas to his paintings. He understood better about his own feeling for the Inquisitor and he felt better knowing that Solas understood Cole's feelings for Emily and was un-threatened by them. Cole had hated the strain he was being to feel whenever the three were together. He shifted his thoughts to other things after ensuring that no one else needed his help for the moment, and went on with the nightly rituals he performed when Emily didn't need him.

He checked on Emily's companions, making sure they were comfortable. Slipping into Cullen's dreams, he settled the nightmares, then checked on Josephine to make sure she was well stocked with candles and was currently resting. He was relieved to see she was asleep on the couch, arguing with her about sleep was something he hated, she was very stubborn. Blackwall's tools were still good – he had gotten him new ones last night, so he skipped that stop and checked in on Cassandra. She slept soundly, book dangling from her hand. He slipped it from her fingers and marked the page, noting that she would need a new one soon. Sera's bow was filled, arrows tucked inside and he smiled as he slipped a nice little golden goblet he had found for her, she liked stuff – especially if it was shiny and he knew she would enjoy this new find.

Bull was with his chargers drinking. Cole frowned, wishing he could do something to help the big Qunari, but Bull seemed self-reliant and usually didn't need anything from Cole. He sighed softly and checked to make sure that Varric was supplied with pens, paper, and candles. Solas needed some more books on the fade and Cole quickly brought them to him. Dorian was asleep and Cole was relieved to find that he hadn't been drinking so was in no need for a "hangover cure", as they were complicated to make and Cole still wasn't sure he did it right. He paused at Vivienne's door. She hated him, he knew, but he couldn't resist the urge to check on her with the rest of the companions. She slept tensely, as if afraid someone would hurt her while sleeping. He carefully picked up the stuffed bear she would adamantly refuse acknowledging if she was awake, and tucked it under her arm. She sighed in her sleep and the tension seemed to ease from her.

He smiled and skipped up the steps to Leliana's rooms. It was always his last stop, right before she rose and after her morning tea had been set up. Somehow the servants still managed to get it wrong and he quickly fixed it, making sure it was warm then stirring in the honey that she loved to have with it. He smiled, noting his work was complete and slipped back up to his corner of the rafters to watch as Skyhold awoke and began another day.

**_Author's Note: _**_ Hello lovelies, I'm sorry if updating takes me a bit. I'm in the process of moving, so chapters might be a little longer arriving. I will try to keep up with once a day or every other day if I can. _


	7. At the Ball

He smiled and skipped up the steps to Leliana's rooms. It was always his last stop, right before she rose and after her morning tea had been set up. Somehow the servants still managed to get it wrong and he quickly fixed it, making sure it was warm then stirring in the honey that she loved to have with it. He smiled, noting his work was complete and slipped back up to his corner of the rafters to watch as Skyhold awoke and began another day.

Cole furrowed his brows as dressed, looking wistfully at his pile of hunter gear that he had always worn. Emily had insisted that he wear these formal clothes, but he itched to be out of them as soon as he put them on. He frowned at them.

"How will our clothes help the Empress?" Cole asked Solas, staring at his matching outfit.

Josephine had picked out these awful red shirts with blue sashes and brown breeches. Everyone had to wear them, or so Emily had told Cole, but he still longed for something more comfortable.

Solas laughed softly, "Our clothes will gain us access to the Empress where we can be wary of the assassin sent to kill her. Orlais is strange like that, Cole."

Cole shook his head, "I don't like these outfits."

Emily laughed from the balcony above, where she had just finished changing with Vivienne. Cole and Solas both looked up and inhaled sharply at the beautiful mage who was standing at the railing, looking down at them.

"It seems to be a unanimous opinion that these outfits are dreadful," She called down to them as she rapidly descended the stairs.

"But don't tell Josephine," She whispered as she reached the bottom.

Cole and Solas both nodded, wondering how it was that she could look beautiful in everything.

"I swear, vhenan, you could make even the most hideous of outfits look beautiful," Solas whispered, taking her in his arms.

Cole smiled softly, quietly slipping out of the room to give the couple privacy. This was a moment he was not needed for. Arriving at the palace was an amazement for Cole. Emily hardly ever used the horses or wagons and so it was new for Cole, and the horses had so many different thoughts and feelings that it kept him occupied for most of the journey.

He assessed the situation quickly and was overwhelmed by the people and their many different hurts and needs. Not understanding half of it Cole looked around quickly for the Inquisitor, and noticing that she was busy and well, he disappeared into the quieter rooms. Not noticing or caring they were supposed to be off limits for the guests, Cole quickly make himself comfortable in the empty rooms. He didn't like it at Halamshiral and really just wanted to get back to his spot in Skyhold, but Emily had begged him to tag along, so here he was.

Mostly he ignored the people below, it was too hard to figure out what was truly important and what was just something they felt due to this 'Game' that Josephine had mentioned. His only exceptions were when he felt Emily's presence. She hated it here, hated that no one was real.

"Cole," She was behind him now and he took a moment to figure out if she was hiding too before replying.

"Everything is wrong here," He replied and she leaned against the balcony with him.

"I know, they're like fairy dust," She answered, wrapping an arm around him.

He looked at her in confusion, "Fairy dust?"

She laughed silently, "It's a tale my father used to tell me. Fairy dust was the most treasured possession no one could ever have."

"But it's not real," He protested.

She laughed again, "I know. That's why these people are like fairy dust."

He giggled silently, "I think I understand. Will you tell me the story, Emily?"

She looked at him softly, "Of course, but not now."

He nodded his agreement, "Not now. Josephine is looking for you. It's starting to become noticeable that you are absent."

She hugged him, "Are you okay?"

He nodded again, "Yes."

"And you'll tell me if you find something more out of place than it already is?"

"Yes. Go." He urged, feeling even Solas' urgency that she get back to the party.

She took one more wistful look around the silent room and then hurried back to the ball room where the rest of the Inquisition was waiting impatiently for their Inquisitor. Cole watched her go wistfully, wondering, once again, why he had to be so different from the rest of the group.


	8. After Party

Cole had watched from the shadows as Emily had confronted the Grand Duchess. Telling the crowd how she had betrayed everyone and plotted to kill the Empress. Part of Cole wished that Emily would have just killed her, but the other part was glad that she hadn't. Then she had gone into conference with Gaspard, Celene, and Briala. Everything must have worked out in the end because Celene had promised her help.

The party had really started then and Cole shuffled away to escape the press of emotions that swirled around him, pausing when he saw Emily out on the balcony all alone. He thought about going out to her, but stopped when he saw Solas come from a different door and stand beside her. This was what she really wanted, he knew, but still part of him had wished that he was the one out there to comfort her. He knew that her actions weighed heavily on her mind and wondered if Solas could sense it as well. He hoped so.

He watched for a while longer, smiling in delight when she had allowed Solas to take her hand and dance with her. This was how Balls were supposed to work, with the heroine dancing with the one she loved. He felt her delight and was delighted for her.

"Are you spying on our dear Inquisitor," Varric teased from behind.

Cole frowned, "Not on purpose. I was going to go out to her, but Solas got there first."

"That's a good thing, kid."

Cole nodded, "It is. She is happy."

"So why are you still watching her?"

Cole smiled, "Her happiness makes me happy. She's so bright now. When she's sad her brightness is less. I don't like that. She should always be this bright. It's like looking into the sun."

"And you enjoy looking into the sun?" Varric asked, confused.

"Only when it's _her_. Her sun is different. It hurts, but it's a good hurt."

Varric shook his head, "Kid, sometimes you make very little sense."

Cole smiled at him, "It's okay. She doesn't understand either, but I do."

"I'm sure she would prefer her dance with Chuckles to be private though."

Cole nodded, "She wouldn't care either way, but she knows that he's concerned about her reputation if the others saw them dancing."

Cole turned to Varric for the first time, "I don't understand. Why is dancing with Solas so bad?"

Varric sighed, "I don't really get it either, kid. It's an Orlesian thing."

Cole nodded, "I shall go now."

They left soon after that, riding in carriages again. Cole enjoyed the ride more than the Ball. Solas, Emily, Varric, Josephine, and Cullen all rode in the carriage with him and he smiled in happiness, watching as Emily slept, her head laying on Solas's shoulder.

Josephine had fallen asleep with her head rested against Cullen, who's head rested on the window of the carriage, but Cole knew that he was awake still. Solas's head rested on Emily's. Cole exchanged smiles with Varric, nodding at the couples. Varric laughed softly, understanding what Cole was trying to get at better than Cole even understood it.

"Do you think they will be happy always?" Cole asked Varric softly, trying not to wake anyone.

Cullen turned toward them, "Who -"

He stooped seeing the Antivan's head resting on his arm and smiled softly, blushing. Varric smiled.

"I hope so, kid. I really do."

**AN: Sorry for the short chapter. I will try to make the next one longer. Also, I've always felt that Josephine and Cullen should have a chance together. Let me know what you think about it! Next time I hope the chapter will be longer.**


	9. War

**AN: Okay, so I was wrong. It's still not as long as I would like.. grr.. I think this story is just going to have short chapters.. ish.**

* * *

Cole had stayed in the background for the most part after the ball. He still did he regular route, but with Emily becoming more attached to Solas, he tried to stay away from her room more often. He had made the mistake once of walking in on them, to both parties embarrassment. After that he had stayed away, too afraid of that happening again. He knew enough about what was going to know things were good between the elves and that Emily was happy.

He had kept to himself so much that he had expected the rest of the Inquisition had forgotten him, so he was more than surprised when Emily arrived in his room one day, wearing an apologetic smile. He was looking through his little box of treasures when he notice and he quickly stood, allowing the box to slam shut.

"Cole," She began, sitting on his bed.

He hadn't understood why Josephine had insisted on a bed. He never used it, didn't really even need it, but he had given up the argument and allowed her to shove a small bed in his little room. He quickly turned his attention back to the Inquisitor, sitting next to her.

"Yes?"

"Have you been avoiding me?"

He looked at her curiously, "Why would I do that?"

She shrugged, "I haven't seen you around in a while."

He nodded, looking down, "I thought maybe you would like to be alone. You have Solas now, so you really don't need me. I thought that maybe you like to see less of me now."

Emily threw her arms around the small boy, "Oh, Cole, I could never want to see less of you. Yes, I have Solas, and I have been spending more time with him, but that doesn't mean that I love you any less silly boy. You're just as important to me as he is. Just in different ways."

"Oh," Was all that Cole could think to say.

He was elated. He still mattered. Emily still remembered him and still wanted him to be around. He felt wonderful.

"Cole," Emily began, hesitantly.

"Yes?" He asked, still grinning.

"Will you come with me to Adamant? I could use you there."

Cole grinned at her, "Of course I will go. You will need me."

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you."

He grinned back as he watched her leave.

* * *

The days leading up to Adamant were crazy for everyone, but especially for him. If someone forgot something or dropped something he was there to help them. There was so much confusion and running around as the soldiers finished getting their weapons and armor together, as healers made and pack poultices and potions, as Emily's inner group all gathered their things. Cole loved watching it, but hated being a part of it. Everything seemed to be a whirlwind and no one seemed to have a moment to spare - especially not Emily.

Cole had taken to sleeping on her balcony again - usually. They had a system worked out after the second time he almost walked in on Solas and Emily. If the windows were open then he was allowed up - if they were closed then Solas was there with her. He didn't always understand why he had to stay away when Solas was there, but he knew that it embarrassed them both greatly when he did intrude, so he stayed away.

Cole was watching as everyone seemed to line up when Varric appeared next to him.

"You ready, kid?"

Cole looked up, smiling, "I think so. Everyone is so excited but scared."

Varric nodded, "That's usually how wars go."

Cole took the hand Varric offered him and hauled himself up from his perch.

"I'll see you there kid," Varric said, running off to join his part of the group while Cole hurried over to Emily's side.

"Ready?" She asked, smiling.

Cole knew the smile was forced, but nodded and smiled back anyways, "Ready."


	10. Binding

Emily's heart plummeted when she saw Cole's face. Through everything he had been by her side, now here they were in the fade and her heart ached at his reaction. She looked at Solas for help, but he didn't know either.

Cole looked around, afraid. He had fought so hard and now here he was, home, but not home. He tried hard to change back into what he was supposed to be, but found he couldn't and it scared him. Why couldn't he change? What was going on? This place was scary. He didn't like it at all and he could tell that Emily and Solas were concerned about him, but he didn't know how to explain what it was that he was feeling, or why he was so afraid. Instead he finally settled for quiet after the first few moments panic and followed Emily's lead through the place.

Somehow he still managed to be surprised when he discovered that it was home to a Demon of Fear. He tried his best to ignore the taunts that the Demon through at him, pretending he didn't hear them, but his heart twisted each time. Emily kept one arm around him whenever they weren't fighting, trying to comfort but he was too scared to even feel her warmth.

_"You're just like me."_

Cole didn't want to hear that. He had been afraid that was true, even though the logical part of his mind insisted that they were nothing alike. Still it hurt him to hear the words and he wanted to scream or cry. Instead he remained quiet and felt Emily squeeze his shoulder, pulling him closer to her and shaking her head. His heart lifted a little at her face. There was no way someone like her could care for him if he was really evil. He took comfort in that more than anything else that she could say or do.

When they finally emerged from the fade he ran. Figuratively. One minute he was beside her while she banished the Grey Wardens and then next he forced himself away and, with a puff of smoke, back to him room at Skyhold. He knew the journey back would take them awhile and he didn't want the question or the comfort his few friends would offer him. He wanted to be alone, to think about what the Demon had said and how Stroud's loss of life would affect everyone.

Instead he often found himself thinking about the demons that were at Adamant. It worried him, knowing he was a spirit. He didn't want to end up like the spirits there. Twisted, perverted from their natural form. It made him shudder. Being alone was supposed to calm him before they came back, but instead he found that he was worked up into an anxious lather when they finally came through the gates and his first course of action was to head directly to Solas. He had decided, while they were gone, that Solas had to bind him. He needed to keep them safe - needed to keep Emily safe - and the best way to do that was to have Solas bind him.

When he confronted Solas about it, he was surprised to hear Solas refuse, leaving his room in a hurry. Cole was determined though and followed him out onto the grounds.

"I don't understand, you like demons," Cole begged, his heart hurting at Solas's refusal.

"I like_ spirits_. I do not enslave them." Solas countered angrily.

Emily looked up from the book she had been reading as their argument increased in volume.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"He won't bind me. I'm a spirit and he won't bind me," Cole keened, on the edge of tears.

Solas shook his head, looking angrily at the spirit.

"Cole, why do you want to be bound?" Emily asked, concerned.

"I don't want to end up like the spirits at Adamant. Wanting, needing to escape but unable. If Solas binds me then I will still be me and if he doesn't then someone else_ will_. I don't want to be forced against my will."

"I'm sure there is a way to keep you safe and not bind you."

"If Cole will listen, I have a suggestion." Solas said after a moment. "I have heard of talismans that will keep a spirit from being bound to anyone. If we could find one then Cole would be safe and have no cause for alarm."

Emily raised an eyebrow at the spirit, "Is that acceptable?"

Cole nodded, obviously relieved, "Yes."


	11. The Amulet

Cole was sitting in his usual spot when Emily approached, carrying something behind her back. He was curious, but waited patiently for her to show him.

"Cole, I have the amulet. Would you like to try it on?" She asked, showing him the small necklace.

"Yes," He said, excitedly. "But not here. I want to be somewhere safe in case it goes wrong."

Emily nodded and led him to Solas's room. If anyone could stop Cole if things went wrong it would have to be Solas.

"What do I do with it?" Cole asked as they entered, offering Solas the amulet.

"Ah, the amulet. Good," Solas turned from his studies, dropping them instantly to help their friend. Emily smiled at him. "Put it on and I should be able to charge it with magical energy that will keep others from trying to bind you."

Emily watched, curious and slightly anxious. Nothing ever seemed to work as simply as it was supposed to but she was hoping that it would work for Cole. Cole smiled nervously and slipped the amulet over his head, closing his eyes. He waited for something and then - pain. He pulled away, crying out in dismay. He cut himself off abruptly, hoping only Emily and Solas noticed, but Varric came in, eyes narrowed.

"What was -" Varric cut himself off. "Maker, I know you like spirits Solas, but what are you doing to the kid?"

"Stopping blood mages from binding me like the demons at Adamant, but it didn't work," Cole explained sadly.

"Something is interfering with the enchantment," Solas explained.

"Something like Cole not being a demon?" Varric asked, crossing his arms.

"I'm not certain what Cole is," Emily joined.

"Regardless of Cole's special circumstances he remains a spirit."

"Yes, a spirit that is strangely like a person."

Cole watched the exchange with interest. He didn't understand why Varric defended him so adamantly or why Solas was so vehement in his refusal, but he worried. Would this tear their friendships apart? He wanted to believe Varric, to believe that he really could be more than just another spirit, but he was scared and watching them was scaring him even more.

"I don't matter," He finally burst, starting to pace. "Just lock away the parts of me that someone else could knot together to make me follow."

"Focus on the amulet," Solas said gently. "Tell me what you feel."

Cole closed his eyes and concentrated, "Warm, soft blanket covering, but it catches, tears. I'm the wrong shape there's something..."

He paused and turned toward the door, "There. That way."

"We'll find whatever is making the amulet not work and make it right," Emily said, putting an arm around Cole, who was visibly shaken.

"All right, kid. Get Cullen and work with him on the map to figure out where your sensing something wrong," Varric said gently.

"Will you come with me?" Cole begged. "All of you."

"Sure." Varric answered, watching as Cole left.

Cole missed the exchange between his defenders and he hurried toward Cullen's room. He wanted to fix this and he wanted to do it now, before someone could make him into a demon.


	12. Becoming Human

Within a few days the group set out, Cole in the lead. He found it strange to be leading his friends when normally he was following them. He was terrified and angry as he marched into the Hinterlands. It felt like an incessant tug on his heart now and he followed it until they reached the source. As soon as Cole laid eyes on the man fury welled in him and he knew.

"You!" He almost shouted in his anger. "You killed me."

The man looked at him bewildered as Cole grabbed him, "What? I don't - I don't even know you."

"You forgot. You locked me in the dungeons in the spire and you forgot and I _died in the dark_," Cole knew he was yelling now but he couldn't suppress the rage that was flowing through him.

"The spire?" A small flicker of recognition, as if the man was trying to recall something unpleasant that he spent years forgetting.

"Cole, Stop." Solas's voice filtered through Cole's anger-clouded mind and he released the man.

He ran as Cole started to stalk after him, but Varric stepped in front of Cole, hands raised in a 'calm down' gesture.

"Just take it easy, kid," Varric said softly.

"He killed me._ He killed me!_ That's why it doesn't work," Cole was still yelling, but he couldn't calm the anger inside him. "He killed me and I have to kill him back."

He was a ghost after all. That man let him die and he was a ghost. No wonder why people kept forgetting him.

"If he killed you - shouldn't you be dead?" Emily asked softly, looking at Cole sadly.

"Cole, this man could not have killed you. You are a spirit. You've never even possessed a body," Solas tried reasoning with the spirit.

"A broken body." Cole said sadly. "Bloody. Banged on the cold cell. Guts ripping in the dark. Dank. A captured apostate. They threw him in the dungeon in the Spire at Val Royeaux. They forgot about him. He starved to death. I came through to help, and I couldn't. So I became him. _Cole_."

He looked around at his companions, sadness slowly replacing the rage. He could see matching sorrow on their faces as Emily wrapped her arms around him, hugging him close to her.

"If Cole's an apostate, that would make the guy we just saw a Templar," Varric said softly. "Must have been buying lyrium."

"Let me kill him," Cole said through gritted teeth, his face still buried in Emily's shoulder. "I need to. _I need to_."

"We can't let Cole kill him," Solas begged as Cole slowly walked away.

"I don't think anyone is suggesting that Chuckles," Varric said dryly.

"Cole is a spirit. He must forgive. If you let him kill the man then you will twist him from his purpose," Solas said. "Cole's death perverted him from his purpose."

"You don't just forgive someone killing you," Varric argued.

"_You_ don't. A spirit can."

"The kid's angry. He needs to work through it."

"A spirit doesn't work through emotions. It embodies them."

"But he isn't a spirit is he? He made himself human. A humans change they get hurt and they heal."

"You would alter his purpose?"

"He altered it when he came into this world."

Cole sat away, watching his friends argue about him. He wasn't sure how he felt about becoming human or remaining a spirit. Right now he was just angry and he wanted to make the anger stop. He watched them bicker back and forth, Emily remaining oddly silent through the whole exchange. He could almost see the wheels turning as she processed all the information she was receiving. Finally she stepped between the elf and dwarf.

"Cole is never going to grow into a real person until he comes to terms with what happened," She finally said softly.

He felt satisfaction in that answer, knowing that Emily was just looking out for him.

"Alright kid, you want revenge? Come with me," Varric said marching up to him.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," The Templar begged when they caught up with him.

"Sorry isn't going to help him now is it, kid?" Varric taunted.

"No," Cole cried softly.

"Pull the trigger and put him down like a bad dog." Varric instructed, handing Cole his crossbow.

Cole lifted it up, pointing it at the man's chest. He pulled, letting out a wounded cry, to hear the hollow click of nothing as the man sank to his knees. For a moment he was angry at Varric, then realizing what Varric had done he dropped the crossbow wearily.

"How are you doing kid? Feel better?" Varric took his arm gently.

"No."

"You can't make it all just go away. I learned that the hard way."

Cole went over to the man, raising his hand, "Forget."

"No. He needs to remember. We're done here."

Cole followed Varric back to where the others were waiting, tears slowly trailing down his face. No one said a word on the way back to Skyhold, though Cole could feel their hurt, the sad ache that echoed his pain.


	13. Agreement

Cole tried to keep to himself for the next couple of days, adjusting to his life as a human. It constantly surprised him, the things that he was able to do still, and the things that he couldn't do anymore. He paced around his room, trying to decide whether his being human was a good thing or not. He had just about made up his mind when Emily popped her head in, smiling at him.

"Cole, want to go do something?" She asked, grinning.

"I don't -"

"Come on, it'll be fun."

He shrugged and allowed her to lead him out of his room, then out of Skyhold all together. As they rode he watched her, wondering where they were going, but too polite to ask. Emily wanted to show him something, but she kept quiet about what it was. Instead he just sat across from her, in silent contemplation.

"We're here," She announced a while later as they entered into the streets of Val Royeaux.

He looked around in surprised, "Where?"

She nodded at the little outdoor café as he helped her out of the carriage.

"I thought we could have lunch together. Just the two of us," She grinned at him and this time he grinned back.

They were quickly seated and Cole looked around in amazement. Normally he would feel the overwhelming urge to help or comfort someone. Now he could filter it out, focus in just on what he wanted to. It surprised him but it was a good surprise. It was nice not to have all of those voices in his head all the time.

He tried to explain this to Emily, but he could see that she really didn't understand what he was trying to describe. He finally stopped and just enjoyed watching as she ate her lunch. She tilted her head at him after a while, studying him just as intently as he was studying her.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" She asked.

"I still don't really feel the need to eat yet," He replied.

She nodded, before stating what was on her mind, "I suppose you know that in a few days we'll be going to the Arbor Wilds?"

He nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"I would like for you to be part of the party, but only if you feel up for it. If not then I will have you assist Cullen in helping the soldiers fight."

He tilted his head, weighing her words. Normally he just went, she didn't need to ask him. He wondered what it meant that she was asking him now instead of just letting him know that they were going. Did she think that things had changed between them because he had changed? He hoped that wasn't the case, but suspected it might be.

"Who else would be going?" He asked gently.

"Solas for one."

They both smiled at that, knowing that there was no way that Solas was going to let her go without him in the first place.

"Bull, because I will need a fighter. And you - if you'll go," She ticked them off her fingers one at a time before pausing. "And Morrigan. She is insisting on joining the party and we could use her insight."

Cole sighed reluctantly. He liked The Iron Bull and Solas was like a mentor to him, but that witch lady gave him the chills. There was just something about her that seemed wrong. He couldn't place it, but she seemed... sad and angry all the time.

"I'll go," He said. "But for you and Solas. I don't trust that witch lady."

Emily grinned at him, "That's okay. You don't have to."


	14. Of Broken Hearts

Cole watched as Emily made her way back to her room, tears glistening in her eyes and he wondered what had gone wrong. They had met in the Arbor Wilds and gone through the temple. Everyone had been surprised when Corypheus had died just to come back to life, taking over a Grey Warden's body. It had shocked Cole to his core and terrified him a little, but they all continued on anyway. Emily had followed the Rite of Petition though he had asked her not to. He was surprised when Solas had agreed with Morrigan, urging her to do it.

Then they had run into Abelas and Cole had felt so insignificant beside the immortal, who had agreed to help them. They had made good progress after that and he was sad when they'd had to fight Sampson at the end, but relieved that Emily hadn't killed him, demanding that he be taken in custody.

When Morrigan and Abelas had appeared only moments later Cole wasn't the least surprised that Emily had sprinted up the stairs, following them. The argument that followed was irritating and Cole had begged Emily not to drink from the Well, but she had insisted that it was her heritage and her right. Solas had also asked her not to; she had ignored both of them and enraged Morrigan.

Cole had felt the difference but not said anything, knowing it would only hurt her. Then they were back in Skyhold and everything seemed to have gone back to normal.

Until a few moments ago when Emily had walked into the hall, her eyes filled with tears. He watched as she hurried to her room, pausing only to greet those who greeted her first. As soon as she shut the door he disappeared, materializing in her room moments later. She was sitting in her chair, fighting back tears with her eyes closed.

Cole had a few moments to study her, noticing something was wrong, but not sure what. As soon as she opened her eyes, he knew. Her vallaslin was gone - the pretty green one that swirled around her left emerald eye. He kept silent about it however, feeling her sorrow over it's disappearance connected to a greater sorrow that he wasn't sure about.

"Emily?" He finally asked, stepping toward her.

She looked up, surprised to see him there, "He left."

She said it with so little emotion that Cole was confused for a moment, before realizing that was the source of her pain.

"I don't understand," He whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

"Neither do I," She replied, crying into his shoulder.

He let her cry for awhile, before sitting her down on her bed.

"Explain," He commanded, holding her by her shoulders.

She hesitantly told him about the break up. She told him how Solas had taken her to a beautiful waterfall and explained that the vallaslin was a slave marking and had offered to take it away. She had reluctantly agreed, sad that her people had been duped into believe the markings were a good thing. Then she explained how he had kissed her, then left her, leaving her to cry until she felt numb inside.

With the explanation came a fresh set of tears and Cole realized that while a good part of her was grieving for losing Solas, a smaller part was grieving for the loss of something that had been a part of her for a long time. He watched her, his own pain and anger rushing through him. This was not something he could fix. No words could offer the comfort she needed. He was enraged that he couldn't help, that the woman he loved so dearly was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

When she finally fell into an exhausted sleep a couple of hours later, Cole stood and strode down the stair, determined to find the elven mage who had broken the Inquisitors heart.


	15. Consequences

Cole found Solas in his study, reading another one of his books on the face, acting as if there was nothing wrong. Cole was surprised at that rage he felt, watching his friend go about his life in a calm manner. Cole stood there for a few moments, just watching, until Solas turned, surprise registering before he could shape his face into the impassive mask that he usually wore.

"Cole," Solas greeted politely.

Cole growled, striding toward him, "You hurt her."

Solas winced at the boy's tone, "I did."

"Why?"

"It's better this way," Solas replied, turning away from his friend.

Cole wasn't having it though. Not today when one person he viewed as family was in so much pain. He grabbed Solas and pushed him against the wall, one arm pressed against the mage's neck while the other had unconsciously drawn one of his daggers, aiming it at his friend.

"That's not good enough. Emily is hurt and it's your fault! You promised to never hurt her, but you did!" Cole shouted.

"Cole, I know you're upset, but you have to trust me," Solas tried reasoning.

Cole shook his head, "I promised I would never let anyone hurt her, but you did. I trusted you, you were our friend and you hurt her."

Cole was surprised to feel a pair of gentle hands on his back as another hand plied the dagger away from him, he whirled in anger to find Dorian and Varric standing there, looking at him with sympathy.

"Come on, kid," Varric whispered, grabbing Cole's hand.

Cole shook his head, "But Emily -"

"We know."

The three shot Solas identical looks of anger as Varric led Cole out of the room. When they reached the door Cole turned back and looked at the elven mage.

"You have to fix this," He demanded, before allowing Varric to lead him out of he room.

The trio were so intent on leaving they missed the look of sorrow that crossed Solas's face before it smoothed back into the blank face that he always wore.

* * *

Cole whirled on the two as soon as Solas's door was closed.

"Have you seen her?" He demanded of them.

The both shook their heads.

"Well _I have_, and she's hurting. She's up in her room sleeping because she's cried too much," He stated angrily, then added, "And there's something else, you two have to be quiet about and pretend it doesn't shock you when you see it. It hurts her almost as much as Solas did."

They looked at him with curiosity as they sat around Varric's table.

"What is it?" Dorian asked.

Cole looked down, "Her face. Her vallaslin is gone."

Dorian gasped while Varric looked at him in bewilderment.

"Gone? I thought it was a tattoo."

Cole nodded, "She didn't say much, just that Solas knew of a way to remove it and had done it after explaining to her what it really meant."

"And then he left her?" Dorian asked, incredulous.

Cole nodded, "There was more to it than that, but yes. He removed a deep part of her, then he left her crying in the wilderness."

Dorian stood, heading to finish off the job that Cole had started, but Varric set a hand on his arm.

"I know how you feel Sparkles, but we can't do anything. The Inquisitor still loves him and would probably have our heads if we harmed him. Not only that, but he's a valuable asset to the Inquisition right now. Until we defeat Corypheus we can't harm him."

Dorian glared down at the dwarf, "Fine, but once that's done, all bets are off. Someone who hurts the girl like that deserves whatever punishment we can give him."

Cole nodded, agreeing with the mage, "I'm going away now. I can't be near him."

With that Cole practically ran out of the room, heading for the tavern where his little room was.


	16. Summoning

The days passed and he managed to avoid Solas, not even seeing him on the missions they went on. He'd been surprised the first time he went with Emily, finding Dorian in Solas's usual spot. He didn't say a word, however, knowing that Emily was trying to keep the elf at arms length. Blackwall, with his big mouth managed to say what everyone knew not to ask.

"Where's Solas?" He'd asked.

Emily's eyes had filled with tears and Dorian took him aside to quickly fill him in on the rough details of what had transpired between the two elves. The two had come back with Blackwall hanging his head a little, as if ashamed of asking.

From that day on either Vivienne or Dorian took the spot that Solas had usually occupied and no one bothered to question it. Emily left Solas to his studies, never bothering to even check on him. If he had something to tell her he would request her presence, then she might appear. Cole noticed that when she had to see anyone else where she would normally have crossed the rotunda she now to the set of side stairs, going out of her way to avoid seeing the elf.

It hurt and angered Cole every time he watched her. Some days he wanted to go back in the room and shout at Solas again, but a part of him knew that it would do no good, so instead he watched his friends as they hurt.

Cole had managed to avoid Solas... until today. Emily grimaced at him, trying to turn it into a smile as they loaded into the carriage. Varric sat next to the mage, watching Emily and Cole with concern as they started off and Cole had to fight the urge to demand why Solas was even there to begin with. He knew that Emily wouldn't have invited him along if she didn't think his presence was necessary.

They rode in an uncomfortable silence. Emily keeping silent because she was hurting, Cole because he was angry, Solas because he was uncomfortable, and Varric because he had no idea what he could say to break the tension between the three that were riding with him.

They all breathed a sigh of relief, in unison, when the carriage finally stopped and that broke the tension, causing them all to break out in laughter.

"What is this place?" Cole asked, looking around in confusion.

"Ruins mostly," Emily replied. "There should be a shrine somewhere though. Spread out and look for it."

Only moments later Solas called for them, "Here."

She hurried over, studying it.

"This is all that is left." She said sadly, before bending to read the inscription. "'We few who have traveled far call to me and I will come. Without Mercy. Without fear.' Strange that there wasn't an alter like this at Mythal's temple. The temple was a place of justice, but this... this is different. This is where the elves called to her, spoke to her. Then one day she disappeared and they had no one to speak to."

"This ritual - should we leave you alone?" Varric asked, looking at her in concern.

"Don't go to far. I may need your help if there's trouble."

She watched as the three walked away, Cole looking back in time to see Morrigan appear at her side. He scowled at the witch, but kept moving. Emily knew what she was doing, even if Cole didn't like it. They paced at the outskirts of the meadow, waiting impatiently for her to finish. Cole wanted to run back there more than anything else, feeling fear for his friend.

"She'll be fine, Cole," Solas said, noticing his fear.

He turned and glared at Solas, effectively shutting him up for a while. Cole knew that Emily could handle herself, but it didn't keep him from worrying about her every moment she was out of their sight. He was relieved when Solas nodded at them, signaling it was okay to go back to her now.


	17. The Beginning of the End

**AN: Sorry this one is short guys. I'm thinking the next one is going to be a bit longer to make up for it. :)**

Cole watched as the sky split open once again.

"No," He muttered, his hands automatically going to his head. "No, no no!"

"Cole?" Emily asked as they gathered their things.

"The sky," He pleaded with her.

She nodded, pulling him into a hug, "I know. We're going to fix that now."

She had asked Cole, Bull, and Cassandra to accompany her to this battle. The others had insisted on going with her, despite her protests, and now they were all saddling up. She turned and glared at the rest of the group.

"The rest of you have to promise me that no matter what happens, you'll help the civilians. While Corypheus is our main focus, I'm sure there will be other demons that will need killing. You keep the civilian's safe, we'll go after this false god."

They nodded solemnly and Cole looked back at Solas, wishing that the mage was going to be with them. He surprised himself at that. He was still mad at Solas after all, but part of him, the part that was still spirit and not enraged by the pain he had caused Emily, felt his hurt just as keenly as he felt Emily's pain.

He silently fell behind until he was riding abreast with the ostracized mage. Solas looked up at the boy in surprise, clearly not expecting to see him, of all people, riding beside him.

"Cole," Solas said with a nod.

Cole weighed what to say for a moment, before just saying what he felt.

"You're hurting. You hurt her and that made me mad, but you're hurting too. It's all a big knot. You're hurt is her hurt but you won't undo the hurt because that hurts. Too much hurt," Cole sighed.

Solas nodded, "I can't be with her, Cole."

The boy shook his head, "You're too scared to be with her. She would accept you if you told her."

Solas looked at him in fear, "I cannot tell her."

He sighed, "You could. You won't. It's too deep. Too painful.. too -"

"No, Cole," Solas interrupted. "You're my friend and I don't want to hurt you, but don't go there."

Cole looked at him sadly, "I wish you'd let me help."

"You can't help me. Help her instead," Solas said, nodding at Emily, who was looking back at the two in confusion.

Cole waved, forcing himself to grin, though he really felt anything but happy. The fake grinned quickly evaporated when confronted with the scene in front of them.

Corypheus stood, watching as his minions poured out of the rift, attacking the Inquisition soldiers. Cole didn't even wait for his horse to shy away, he was off it in a flash, running toward the demons. Emily, he saw, looked furious as she strode to where Corypheus stood.

"I knew you'd come," He gloated.

"It ends here, Corypheus," Emily snarled.

"And so it shall," He agreed, before casting a spell that made the ground shake and pull upward into the sky.


	18. Final Fight

The fight seemed to last for years. More likely it was only a few hours, but time had no meeting when you're fighting a demon who thinks he's a god. Cole stayed close to Emily's side, keeping demons away from her as she cast spell after spell. He worried her magic would be depleted before they finished but as soon as the thought hit him he shoved it to the back of his mind, vowing that he would do whatever it took to keep her alive and casting.

A few times he spotted the Iron Bull or Cassandra as they waded through the demons, clearing a path for Emily to get closer to Corypheus. Cole moved with her, making sure she was constantly covered on all sides. Corypheus constantly taunted them, moving just out of their reach when they got close enough.

Emily let out a silent scream of frustration around the fifth time he moved out of range of Cassandra's swing and smote her staff on the ground, sending out a whirling blizzard. Cole watched in amazement as the magic actually hit the false god, sending him tumbling backward before freezing him in place. The two fighters sent her a grateful look as the group moved toward him.

Just then they noticed the dragon. The one that Emily had summoned had done well against it, but in the end was no matched for this arch demon-like dragon. Both dragons fell, Mythal's dragon landing a ways away when Corypheus's landed right in front of the group, roaring with pain.

Grimly they turned their attention to the beast, knowing that before they killed the magister they would have to kill his pet dragon. Cole was a little surprised at how easy the fight was, even with it's injuries he thought it still should have put up more of a fight then it did. Emily delivered the killing blow grimly, barely spending the time to make sure it was dead before turning back to face their main objective.

"Let it end here! Let the skies boil, let the world be rent asunder!" Corypheus yelled.

Cole could almost feel Emily rolling her eyes as they raced up the steps to what would be the final confrontation.

* * *

Another eternity passed and then suddenly Corypheus was summoning something dark, more dangerous than anything else they had faced before. Cole turned to warn Emily, only to see her strike him one more time. Then everything seemed to unravel.

"Not like this," The ancient magister seemed to beg. "I have walked the halls of the golden city, crossed the ages... Do not ancient ones I beseech you. If you exist - if you ever truly existed - aid me now."

Cole almost let out a victory cheer. Corypheus might be calling upon ancient gods and to most it would see like he would get the final kill, but Cole could see beyond that. He felt the fear of failure and despair on the false god and could see that if Emily opened a rift here and now then it would end.

As if hearing his thoughts the Inquisitor turned and pushed her mana with all of her might, pulling the glowing orb away from him and into her own hand. For a moment she stared at it in wonder, surprising even herself that she had done it. She pushed with the orb, using the combined power of her magic, the orb, and her mark to close the breach once again.

Exhausted she dropped the orb, forgetting about it completely as she stepped toward the fallen creature, ignoring as the city in the sky began to crumble about her.

"You wanted into the fade?" She only half asked as she used the last of her mark's magic to life Corypheus up as he had all that time ago in Haven, without another word she crushed her hand, sending him to the other side of the small rift she had created and closing it at the same time.

That was when she noticed the floating city was falling. She shared a panicked look with Cole, then they were separated. As soon as his section touched solid ground he was off like a shot, looking for his best friend in the ruins of a ruin.

* * *

Cole and the others found her as she was walking out from under an archway, she stood there a little dazed as they congratulated her on her victory. Cole watched her as she told them it was time to head back to Skyhold.

"I just have to check one thing first," She said, turning back.

The group waited for awhile before Cole shifted uneasily, feeling her heart break over again.

"I'll be back," He whispered to Bull, hurrying off in the direction he had seen his friend take.

He found her kneeling on the ground, pressing the two halves of the orb together while tears streamed down her face.

"He's gone this time," She whispered, without looking up, still pressing the halves together as if fixing the orb would bring him back.

Cole nodded sadly, gently prying the pieces from her fingers.

She looked up at him, now that she had nothing to focus on and threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shoulder once more.

"What did I do wrong?" She cried, silently begging Cole to tell her that she could fix it.

_"Nothing,"_ He whispered, stroking her hair. "It's him. He's hurting and he's afraid and he thought leaving was for the best."

"But it hurts," She whispered back.

"I know," He said, and he did, feeling the pain as keenly as she did.

She was too lost in her pain to hear the footsteps behind her, but Cole noticed them, looking up into Dorian's concerned eyes. He shook his head, motioning for Dorian to help him get her up. The mage did so before signaling Bull to help.

"Emily," Cole whispered.

She looked up, her tear streaked face turning to look at her closest friends.

"Emily," Dorian took her hand. "Do you want to rest?"

She shook her head, wiping her tears.

"We have to put on our victory faces," She answered, setting her jaw firmly. "There will be time to sleep afterwards."

The group exchanged looks of concern before Cole disappeared. Despite the fact that he was now mostly human he had retained a few of his spirit traits, one of which was to disappear and reappear elsewhere. This time he reappeared in Cullen's study, hoping the Commander wouldn't cut him down at the sudden intrusion. Cullen looked up startled.

"Cole you surprised me," Cullen said. "Wh-"

"No time to explain," Cole cut him off, then launched into details of everything that had happened, including Solas's leaving.

"Could you inform the others?" Cole asked when he finished. "The ceremony is going to have to be brief or else your people are going to see their beloved leader breakdown. I'd stay but she needs me back there, she needs me with her."

Before Cullen could answer he disappeared again, this time reappearing next to Emily, forcing a smile as she turned to him.

"Where did you go?" She demanded, a little hurt that he had left in such a hurry.

"Sorry, I just went a head to let Cullen know we were on our way home," He replied, looking meaningfully at the others in the party as Emily leaned back with a sigh.


	19. A Broken Heart

Cole would never admit it but he was concerned. Emily had done her duty as the Inquisitor but since then she'd holed up in her room, barely coming out. Sometimes Cole would go up and see her, but it always hurt him to see her so fragile seeming. She spent most of her time asleep and Cole longed to know what she was dreaming about that had broken her spirit so completely. She did what her advisors told her, but there was no spirit in it. Even at the celebration she had been quiet, less vibrant than she used to be.

Looking at her no longer hurt his eyes, her spark, the thing that had made her so uniquely her, was gone. Finally Cole went to Leliana. He couldn't stand it anymore.

"Cole, you startled me," Leliana said, when she finally turned, noticing him there.

Cole looked at her worriedly, "Have you heard anything yet?"

"About Solas?"

He nodded.

Leliana sighed, "Nothing. He seems to have just vanished off the face of the earth. How is Emily?"

Cole shook his head, "Not good. She barely gets out of bed unless Josephine or Dorian make her. When she does she looks like she's the spirit. I'm worried about her."

"Me too. Alistair was like this when Celeste died."

Cole looked at her quizzically, "Where is Alistair now?"

Leliana's face fell, "Well, let's just hope that it doesn't happen to Emily okay?"

Cole nodded, he was still curious, but knew better than to press the issue with the spymaster. Instead he left the tower and slowly made his way down to the room that used to belong to Solas. All of his things were still exactly as he left them and Cole was relieved to find that Solas's paintings had not yet been painted over.

Cole was working on convincing the rest that the paintings needed to stay. Take away the elf's things you must, but the paintings were needed to show the world what had happened here. Some of them doubted him, thinking that they would only hurt Emily when she had to walk by them, but others knew he was right. Solas had left an account of everything that had taken place since the Breach opened painted right there for everyone to see.

Cole knew, though, that he had left out the most important parts. The trivial details that others would not care to see but that had been more important in reality. The little things that had held everything in place - Emily's relationships with members of the group, especially Solas for example. Sera's strange view of the world that kept everyone laughing, or Varric's stories that had kept each other from ripping out one another's throats when the journeys from place to place got to be exhausting and they were all wearing on each other's nerves.

Cole sat for a long time in the room, recalling all the little quirks and habits that had made each member so uniquely themselves. Cassandra had become Divine, Varric had gone back to Kirkwall presumably to help them rebuild and write his novel, Vivienne back to the Orlesian Court where she retained her position as Magical Advisor to the Empress, Blackwall had been taken in to custody by the Wardens, and of course, Solas was gone - the first of them to leave and the one that hurt the Inquisitor the most.

Everyone else had stayed, but it felt so strange to walk by places that were once filled with people that he had once thought of as a surrogate family and find those spots empty. He sighed and stood, perhaps it was time to check on his dear adopted sister once more.

Cole found her in her normal spot, curled up in the bed, tears leaking through her eyes. He was amazed that she could still cry after all this time, but he didn't say anything, just curled up beside her and stroked her hair.

"Cole?" She asked after a moment, her voice creaking from disuse.

For a moment the boy froze, unsure if he had heard her or imagined it. It had been so long since she had actually gone out of her way to talk to someone that hearing her do it now was completely bewildering. Then she said his name again and he realized that, yes, she was talking.

"I'm here," He whispered.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For holding all of my broken little pieces together and trying to keep them together. You are now the most important person in my life," She answered.

Cole felt tears of his own starting as he squeezed her shoulder lightly. More than anything he was determined to find Solas now and make him come back here and fix things between them. He gritted his teeth and vowed silently that he would find the mage if it took him the rest of his life to do it.


	20. An Unkept Promise

Cole spent days searching for the lost mage, constantly casting his mind in the fade to find him. He had almost given up hope when he felt the familiar brush of the elf's mind.

_Cole,_ Solas sounded startled._ How did you find me?_

_You need to come home_, Cole answered.

_You know I cannot do that._

Cole willed himself to think about Emily and show Solas what was happening. He felt more than heard the elf sigh.

_If I come back now I could be doing more harm than good._

_And if you don't she's just going to get worse. She doesn't even leave her bed without prodding, please come home Solas._

They'd had this conversation a hundred times before when the elf had first left, but then Solas had shielded himself from the boy's searching. Cole wondered what he could be doing that had allowed the ex-spirit to find him so easily this time.

Solas sighed,_ I would if I could, Cole. Cole? Could you give Emily a message for me?_

Cole stood straighter, as if Solas could see him.

_What's that?_

_Tell her, tell her I'll come home when I finish what I need to do. I miss her too much to stay away. _

The connection was disconnected before Cole could answer, the boy shifting nervously and wishing he had Varric to talk to about what had just happened. Instead he slowly made his way down from his room to see Iron Bull.

"What's wrong kid? You look like you've seen a ghost?" The quanari said gently as Cole sat beside him.

Cole related what had just happened, asking if he should really relay the message to Emily.

Bull was silent for a long while as he thought about it.

"Well, the problem is, Solas could keep his word but it could be days or it could be years before he comes back. However, if you don't tell her she could stay in bed for the foreseeable future, not moving except to survive and at someone's prodding. But if you do tell her then she could get her hopes up just to have them constantly dashed as she looks for him every time someone new comes to Skyhold."

Cole nodded, "But wouldn't it be better that way. At least she's not laying in bed unmoving."

Bull sighed, "And that's the problem, it could be better or it could be worse. It's up to you kid. Personally, I would tell her."

Cole nodded, "Thank you, The Iron Bull."

The mercenary ruffled Cole's hair affectionately, "Any time kid."

Cole hurried up the steps to Emily's room a few moments later, determined to bring the Inquisitor some good news for once.

"Emily," He entered quietly, careful not to wake her if she was still sleeping.

But she was awake, eating her midday meal, looking better than he had seen her since Solas had walked out of Skyhold.

"Hey Cole," She smiled and he was stunned.

An actual, beautiful smile. One that almost reached her eyes. Cole was delighted to see it and at that moment he resolved to keep what Solas had said to himself. At least, he would unless he sensed that she really needed to hear it. Right now, however, with her smiling up at him and actually eating a meal ,with her maid drawing a bath in another room, Cole decided that now was not the time to tell her what he knew. After all, what if Solas didn't show up for years? Or what if he never showed at all? Maybe it was better to keep it from her from now. There was no reason to tell her something that could keep her hoping for the rest of her life only to have her disappointed at the end of it.

Cole smiled back, "Hello Emily."

She smiled softly, "I've decided that it's better to get up and get on with my life instead of pining for a phantom that has probably moved on already."

Cole felt a twinge of guilt at her words but nodded, "Good. I hate seeing you so miserable. It hurts."

She laughed and stretched her arms out for a hug.

"Lots like it's just going to be us against the world Cole."

Cole looked at her confused, "We already saved the world, and we have -"

She held up a hand to silence him, "I know that, it's just an expression."

Cole nodded, "Okay."

She clapped her hands together, "Now. It's time for me to start my new life. I hope you'll take part."

Cole grinned, "In your life? Always."


	21. Epilouge

Days turned into weeks which turned into months and Cole was glad that he kept quiet about Solas's promise. Emily's heart was slowly healing and he felt it through his bones. Dorian had left last week to return to Tevinter where he said he was going to change everything. Everyone smiled and agreed, but only those closest to the mage really believed that he would. Under that charm, Cole knew, was true grit and determination to do what was right and good.

Bull stayed, he was a permanent fixture, he had no home to go back to anyway. He disbanded the Chargers, telling them they could stay if they wanted but they weren't obligated. A lot left in search of another mercenary group to join, but more stayed, signing on as Inquisition soldiers or spies. Cole was glad that for that, he enjoyed spending time with The Iron Bull. Cullen and Leliana both vied for him to join them, but he remained neutral, helping both of them where he could.

Sera also stayed, but moved out of the bar and into the castle, taking up Vivienne's old spot, saying that she needed more room for all of her stuff. Cole suspected that it was really because she wanted to be closer to Emily. Oddly enough, Bull moved into her old room soon after.

Cole, himself, moved into Solas's old room. He discovered that he now needed to eat and sleep and do all the things that normal humans did, but he hated being so far from Emily. He left things pretty much as they were, but moved his few meager possessions in. Emily often came down to visit him, saying that he could stay in her room if he wanted. He knew he could, but he preferred being in Solas's old room, it made him feel closer to the elf that had left them all that time ago.

Cole knew as well, that Emily liked her privacy. Now that everyone was leaving she often would feel melancholy and would fall silent for long periods of time, brooding about only she knew what. Her advisors, of course, stayed. Leliana was always collecting reports and information, Cullen always accepting recruits. Josephine was thrilled to find that her position had become more important since often high ranking people would come to her to ask Emily to settle disputes that their liege had not the time to settle or could not settle for some reason or another.

Often Emily would spend time in the main hall, listening to case after case of petty things that bored Cole as he listened. She never seemed to mind, weighing all of the options carefully and hearing all sides before finally delivering her final judgment.

It was on one such day, almost two years after Solas had left that Cole noticed a cowled figure enter and stand in line for a verdict on something. The line was short today and Cole was relieved for that small mercy. Emily had insisted that he stay by her side and listen in, often they would go over particularly difficult verdicts once the day was over and she would quiz him on her decisions. Why she insisted on this Cole didn't know, but he did it for her sake anyway.

Today he had trouble paying attention as he watched the figure creep closer to the front. He caught Bull's eyes, inclining his head slightly toward the figure as he became the second in line. Bull nodded back, his ax drawn, but resting lighting on his thigh as he watched the figure. From across the hall Cole could see that Sera had noticed the person as well, her bow was drawn and ready to arrows fly if it became necessary.

He could feel Emily tense next to him and knew that she had notice the high alert that her friends were on. While she appeared just as relaxed as normal, he could feel her drawing on her magic, forming a shield around herself and those that surrounded her as her protection. Cole fingered the dagger at his side when the figure became the next in line, his grip tightening on it.

Only once had they had someone stupid enough to try to assassination the Inquisitor during a judgment day, but that didn't mean it couldn't happen again. They had easily dispatched this rogue, noticing his furtive movements the moment he walked in the door and getting to him before he could even reach the first table. This one was different, Cole could feel ancient power radiating from him.

Emily looked at the stranger with suspicion as he stood in front of her.

"And what, good person, could I help you with?"

"A long time ago I did something awful. Over the years it has gnawed at me but I tried to forget by pushing it from my mind. I met and fell in love with a woman, but I finally I had to leave her to right the wrongs I had done. I couldn't bear looking at her who was so innocent without remembering what I had done. I felt that before I could have her complete love I had to fix it, so I left her without an explanation and have spent the last couple of years paying for my wrong-doing. Now my judges tell me I have redeemed myself and that I should go rest."

Emily stared at the figure for a while, her eyes hardening. Cole knew she thought it was a waste of time and the man was pulling her leg, but something resonated within him and he touched her arm gently before she could command him to get out.

"Let's listen to what he wants," Cole whispered to her.

She looked at him in bewilderment but nodded, surprised that Cole actually wanted to hear a case.

"That all sounds like it worked itself out," She replied. "So what would you need from me?"

"Forgiveness," The figure threw off his cloak to reveal Solas, looking weary, but determined.

Gasps echoed around the room, but Emily only had eyes for the mage that had abandoned her.

"For what?" She whispered.

Solas's eyes hardened just a bit, "For leaving you without explanation. For never telling you who I am and just what I've done. For breaking your heart. For allowing you to slip away."

Tears slipped down Emily's face as Josephine began to clear people out.

"Josie, I think I'm going to take a break for a bit," She whispered as she stood, beckoning Solas and Cole to follow her.

Josephine nodded, "Use Cole's room, I promise no one will disturb you."

The three entered the room that used to be Solas's and the mage looked around in wonder.

"Did you move in here after I left?" He asked the boy.

Cole nodded, "Yes."

"But you didn't change anything?"

"No."

Solas sat down on his bed, Emily next to him and Cole sitting at his old desk and he explained that he what he had said out there was true, but now he was back and he wanted another chance.

"If you can find it in yourself to forgive me?" Solas asked. "I love you Emily."

Emily threw her arms around him, kissing him deeply, "Promise you won't ever leave me again?"

Solas nodded, "I promise."

The two grinned at each other as Cole slipped out of the room, deciding it was time that the two had the privacy that they deserved.


End file.
